A LOT YOU CAN LEARN IN A WEEKEND

1. Although I may come off as being cold, aloof, and confident - its all because of this carefully crafted band aid and underneath it all I still have some DEEP SEATED insecurities that really alarmed me this weekend. Now the only question is - can insecurities actually be healed? or -IS IT- just a matter of being more disciplined about the band-aids?

2. Life has become just a simple collection of passing seasons of missing someone. I've missed you for such a long time. Now I miss you as well.

3. They told me I got the condo on Friday, then over the next 3 days, they strung me along, showed the place to some other potential buyers and on Sunday, they increased the price by $6000. I told them to fuck off and this morning they called to cave in. So CONGRATS to me! I should have known that only after showing some balls, would i be able to own a home in the only gay city in America. Anyone want to rent out a room?

4. The old gets older. My Dad has always been this intimdating and prideful person in my life and even tho my sister and mom tells me that his health is starting to show signs of age.. its hard for me to get worried since its so unbelievable, and yet I know its probably so true.

5. I have great friends here in LA. Matt saved me this Sunday morning at 6:30am. Darren is re-writing my entire script to make it his own better. In the middle of his trick date, Sam recorded Six Feet Under for me. and Cuong.. um Cuong. Cuong? Why am I even friends with you?

NUMB

Steve and I broke up.
No promotion at work.

I don't know what to say, what to think or how to feel.
I just feel numb.

Doesn't it seem oddly unfair,
That anytime you want something.
Anytime you vividly dream of something.
Anytime you yearn and hunger and work hard towards something.
Without a doubt, disappointment is the only guarantee.

So maybe numb is the way to go.

At least then...
Instead of crying, you'll just scoff at the bad times.
Instead of rejoicing, you'll simply smile at the good times.
You'll train yourself to not hope, to not desire, to not imagine
Is this not better than the ardous adventure we set out for ourselves?

I know this is not true.
I know life is all the richer for having the highs and the lows.

But today I just wanna feel numb.
Numb the pain.

Please.

JONI MITCHELL DON'T LIE

Why is it that as you are letting go, you start realizing what a treasure you had.

I am sad.

DAMN HARD

Relationships are!

No one said it would be easy
But no one said it'd be this hard

I am trying to balance it all - Steve, Work, Career, Writing, Gym, Friends, Condo, Good laughs and Good drinks. However Steve is worried that he is not important enough in my life which breaks my heart because I am here, doing my best to juggle it all. He feels that as my boyfriend, his juggle should be juggled with more care and more love, and not be dropped in favor of the other balls but I have a feeling that he wont be happy unless I stop juggling at all.

How can I not juggle tho? Its what I do. I'm a juggling kinda guy. Ok, gotta go and work on some rewrites while I eat my lunch at my desk where I await a call from my realtor..

Up, Up, and Away !

BARBARA WALTERS as JESSICA SIMPSON

So Barbara had the Queer Eye guys on the View today. She holds up their new book and says, "...and the book is entitled 'Queer For the Eye, Straight Guy!'"



She's so stupid.

I LEARN SO MUCH AT THE OFFICE

Her: Have you ever noticed that Wendy always has a camel toe?

Me: What's a camel toe?

Her: Oh my gosh, you are sooo gay. I love you.

Click Me for a Visual

Six Feet Under: Top 10 Gayest Moments

So recently, I was commissioned to write the following piece for a marketing company and HBO. You will catch it on various websites such as gaywired.com, gay.com, msn.com and etc. However, I wanted to post it up here because you will undoubtedly see an edited and toned down version so - here it is, in its full frontal glory.



Top 10 Gayest Moments

David on Broadway
Glowing from a night well spent with her boyfriend, Claire breaks into bawdy song and dance with “What a Little Moonlight Can Do.” Watch David’s inner queen explodes as he steals the scene with his fabulous back up performance. You go girl!

A Boy and His Doll
A young David is seen running around with a naked GI Joe doll. It’s a classic memory in many of our lives, when we had our first introduction to the All American Hero only to be disappointed by his G-rated construction.

TMI (Too Much Info)
Upon discovering a pierced penis on a dead gay man, David gives Rico, along with every hetero American watching, a graphic history lesson on the Prince Albert as well as the joys and benefits of shaved balls.

Best Performance in Drama
Keith and David have passionate, on-the-floor, lip-biting sex right after their equally passionate and heated fight about family, death, and love. We’ve all heard of make-up sex before, but only to a gay man can DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA be considered foreplay.

David and His Tights
David is caught wearing Claire’s black shirt on his way to the clubs. This is practically a Queer Eye moment as David begins the rite of every gay man’s passage: wearing shirts 2 sizes smaller than the recommended fit.

Boy-on-Boy Action
Brenda, continuing her sexual escapades away from Nate, has a threesome with two hunky young guys. Even in a straight situation, any time you get two horny lads naked together with a loose woman, you know there’s bound to be some male-to-male skin contact going on. Where's a Bel Ami pornographer when you need one.

Your Song
David and the LA Gay Men’s Chorus sing a choral arrangement of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” Enough said.

Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean
As Keith waits patiently in bed, we get a glimpse of how David prepares himself before having sex with his boyfriend. David showers, scrubs, dries off, brushes his teeth, flosses, gargles and clips his nose and ear hair. How gay is the need to be squeaky clean for some good and dirty sex.

Ambiguously Gay
Claire has a thing for Russell. Russell has a thing for hair. The two spend a cozy afternoon together as he foils up her hair and brushes it carefully with blue dye. Ahhh – there’s love blossoming in the air. Too bad that there’s nothing straight about it!

Queer as Six Feet
In a club filled with flashing lights, thumping music and scantily-clad men, David takes ecstasy and winds up dancing with a water bottle in one hand and a cute shirtless date on the other. And later off camera, David runs into Justin and Brian in the backroom.

POSTCARD FROM THE EDGE

...And I won't expect a postcard from Trafalgar Square.

That's a line from one of my fav songs - "Love is Different" by Caedmons Call - and altho, I'd always sing along, I never knew what or where Trafalgar Square was.

Anyway, as I mentioned before, Steve is away on business, leaving me here to contemplate some of the obstacles we have been facing in our relationship. Today, I get a postcard from him and its of Trafalgar Square in London! It reads:

"So Caedmon's Call may not expect a postcard from Trafalgar Square, but YOU sure can !"



Awe... not only is he being cute, sweet and romantic, he's also giving me a cultural lesson!

You know, sometimes thats all you need in guy.

Love is different than you'd think
It's never in a song, or on a TV screen
Cause love is harder than a word
Said at the right time and everything's all right
I said love is different than you think

I DO DAMN IT

Check out this important campaign, brought to you by my bud Matt Lum and GLAAD.


www.idoin30seconds.org

How lucky are we! to be on the forefront of this wave of change that brings equality to the GLBT community. Yes, its a struggle, and yes its sometimes ridiculous and often disheartening but I truly believe that in the end, we will be victorious and vindicated.

JUST GONNA BLAB AND BOLD...

Don't you hate it when your friend tells you that he is going to be out of town for the weekend, and then you forget, which is sad because I also keep forgetting that he is a vegetarian and sometimes I forget his last name, so anyway, I ended up calling him 2-3 times wanting to hang out, but he never answered so I left nasty messages and then he comes back into town and I'm all feeling guilty thinking oh thats where you were - but I didnt feel guilty for too long since he got to party it up with hot shirtless men, so anyway this update is for Sam since he complains I never blog anymore but thats cause sometimes I just have too much to say and I dont know where to begin so for today I guess I'll just start with this moment, right now, which currently, my intern is helping me file so Im happy about that and although I constantly battle that feeling of time moving way too fast and not getting enough done, I am happy that my 2 writing projects are coming along nicely and if you are a Six Feet Under fan, you might be seeing my work very shortly, thanks to Cuong who really came through for me on this project which is my very first paying-writing gig so I guess times are moving and things are progressing, especially for my sister who is having her first kid, a boy, which means I guess I will be an uncle soon and that's very strange to me but I guess not as strange as it is for her so I am really excited about having a new addition to the family since I wont be fathering any kids of my own anytime soon but if I was to father a kid, I think I'd be a great dad and I would pass along some good genes but anyway for now I'm just trying to get to Friday since Darren wants the "Gang" to get together then since its been a while for us boys so maybe we can play charades, or tangoes, or cards, with some good drinks and good laughs tho unfortunately, Steve will not be there since he is overseas right now on business, which has been giving me some quiet time to think about a lot of things since Steve and I are facing some obstacles in our relationship because we are just too different and when I stop to think about it, it really is a bit scary to think that this will break us apart even tho we are very much into each other, so anyway, besides having quiet time to myself, I also ended up getting hooked on Alias this weekend, along with my buddy Matt, who is my writing partner for our future venture called "M2 Creative" or "M2M Creative" so anyway we started with the pilot episode and ended up watching 6 hours of it and to our delight, we found this show to be very riveting .

Also I think I need to move out of my place soon.